#I fucking feel this in my bones
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“i love being aromantic” i say as i feel my chest cavity rotting from the inside at the unquenchable desire for love in a way that is truly a secret third thing but its not a secret i want to keep it is a secret nobody is willing to listen to and im trapped in a state of isolation of my own making because no matter how much love i have to give it will never be enough. it will never be enough. it will never be enough.
#space.txt#aromantic#its like something gnawing on my bones!!!#i am who i am but who i am is somebody nobody else wants#and do i want to be wanted?#im trapped in a world that will never give me the dignity to be truly happy by myself#financially and culturally! im doomed by the narrative#i look forward and there will be friendships but they will never be enough i feel like a fucking ALIEN#i need to meet another aroace person irl so bad its so fucking lonely how do people deal with this#1k#all the notes on this.. WE WIL BE OKAY!!!#2k
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life trying to force me to take a break by shutting down my laptop while i'm in the middle of work, as if i'm not going to just turn it back on and go right back to what i was doing
#vu talks shit#i had a friend over yesterday so i feel human again#i think i deserve to go back to working 12+ hours a day again#as a treat#crow's gonna see this and tell me to take a break i can fucking feel it in my bones#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bbgirl (gnc)
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Ugh yes fanfic ideas about us fellow 30s+. More of this please. I’m old. Gimme fics with older people. I need it I need it I need it
Over 30!reader and over 30!Law having their meet cute when they both reach for the last store-brand bottle of ibuprofen on the shelf. Reader and him are both nearly shapeless in hoodies and sweatpants, both too tired after work to fight the other, and things quickly devolve into a “no really, it’s fine, you can have it” battle of wills that’s more charged than either of them expected.
They meet again at the checkout and reader absolutely roasts him for his choice of frozen dinners and the copious energy drinks in his cart, but thanks him for giving up the ibuprofen. This is the best date that wasn’t a date either of them have had in a long time.
#such a cute idea#I fucking feel this in my bones#in sweats getting ibuprofen not giving a F how I look#just trying to survive after a long ass day at work#i feel old but my mind is so young#I’ve been alive more than 30 years#im gonna start writing fanfiction with 30+ people cuz there’s just none around#represent us older folks#it’s not just a bunch of kids writing and reading this stuff#I feel really strongly about this
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I just had an upsetting thought - what if Alison constantly visited the Ghosts and knew - when she was old and grey and had lived a life - that she was going to die, so she made sure she was in Button House for it?
Mike accepts it and understands her want to go back to the Ghosts, they’re like family, they’re always there.
But then it’s Mike’s turn to go and he decides it must happen at Button House too. He’ll see his wife again! Spend a couple of hundred years together & hey he can actually meet/talk to the ghosts now!
Only when he dies and he meets all the Ghosts, who are all excited to actually talk to him etc, he asks where Alison is, only to find that she moved on straight away.
He finally gets to see a part of his life that was so bizarre for him, so secret and hidden, part of his life where he only ever had half a story. And now he has that half but his whole world is still gone and he doesn’t know when he’ll ever see her again.
#one thing I love about ghosts#is that Mike knows about them#there’s no elaborate hiding it all away from him on Alison’s side#I feel like it’s so unusual for a couple to be so healthy that your wife can say she’s seeing ghosts#and your (eventually) like ok I fuck with that#and she tells him straight away too#ghosts uk#bbc ghosts#mike cooper#alison cooper#the captain#julian fawcett#pat butcher#kitty higham#thomas thorne#lady button#robin#humphrey bone#sad ghosts post#my brain is weird
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did i fix it
#shin soukoku#sskk#akuatsu#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd spoilers#ryuunosuke akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd fanart#fanart#my art#bsd season 5#bsd season five#bungou stray dogs season 5#bsd anime#bones doesn't like it when akutagawa has feelings i think#i thought akutagawa was the epitome of toxic masculinity but turns out bones is worse#im like fucked up abt this because the rest of the episode was so good and the first two eps were good too so im like#did they just make a good season and only fuck up the hero vs criminal arc#because i will fucking riot
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I think Reo and Nagi share almost all the girls they hook up with. They’re both super into three ways (or even four way if they both had girls who were down). Reo in particular likes sharing with Nagi and watching him fuck his girl. Which works out super well for Nagi, who doesn’t have to make the effort to find hot girls to get into bed. Like you reverse cowgirl riding Nagi’s dick, while Reo kisses your neck or sucks on your tits and rubs your clit and-
#yall see the vision?#they are fucking girls together on the regular#I feel it in my bones#blue lock hc#nagi smut#mikage reo x reader#nagi seishiro x reader#Reo mikage smut#blue lock smut
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never forgiving bones for fucking up this scene
#hey sskk nation how are we feeling :(#literally just finished watching the new ep and i genuinely sobbed#i was so mad they didn't make him smile or have atsushi take one last look back at him bones hates to see mlm winning#also second img is me being delusional and just stopping the show when they used koko zessou for the first time and killed fukuchi#yk before he used the space time sword and literally fucking cheated#akutagawa is alive. sskk reunion totally doesn't leave gaping holes in my heart. everything is fine.#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#akutagawa ryuunosuke#ryuunosuke akutagawa#atsushi nakajima#shin sokouku#sskk#bsd#lotus draws
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I like the funny necromancer
#please put me down im begging#i have unrequited feelings for a man that does not exist#I'm literally listening to “where the dead must go” as i post this#im SEVERELY fucked in the mind#take my word i just.#i need to be joined in matrimony to the pixelated moustache bone daddy#NAOW#emmrich volkarin#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard#datv#dragon age veilguard
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I feel super bad doing this once again but I was fired from my job a month ago and have desperately trying to find a job but the job market where I live is terrible and knowing my luck I won't be able to find a job until february where I will then be homeless because I will have run out of my savings. If you at all like my content and have disposable income you're willing to toss my way it would mean the world to me
#bones speaks#my apartment costs 570 to live in which doesnt feel a lot but FUCK I have been barely able to afford living#and I've fully drained the savings I've built up from getting my past job#I've been applying to at least 3 jobs a day and god it feels like yelling into the void
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One of my first digital pieces (2010) versus one of my recent ones (2024)
We all start somewhere!
#picked these cause they're in a similar pose lol. i mean not at all. but sort of... more than my other art at least...#oh fuck im so tired im saving this to drafts and coming back later#my anxiety meds wipe me the fuck out so im trying not to take them in the day#and they're like legit borderline a sleeping med for me. i take one and in 30 mins im OUT.#so I'm. i mean i was already only taking 1-2 in the day and then 2-3 at night#anyways it makes me sad when people say they dont have an artistic bone in their body#and especially when they say they could never draw like me :(#dont put yourself down to lift me up! i don't want my art to be used for you to be mean to yourself!!!#lots of experiences of people comparing themselves to me and being mean to themself...#feels bad. it's okay if you're slow it's okay to be learning it's okay!!!#I'm me and you're you and we're here to learn from each other. i just wanna hang out..#y'know what I'm just gonna post without saying anything i WILL forget I made a draft#i have so many things i intend to post and then forget#it's a wonder I post anything#i only do it when i get bored. and run out of stuff to scroll through#like whelp. guess if i want a post I have to make one myself.#also the second one is really good idc that it's a study i still drew it#art growth#this was in 2010 btw#i started highschool in 2011#I've grown a lot and you can too.#also I've never really been one to dislike my old art. like idk I was trying... if it's bad I just won't look at it whatever#like i wouldn't be mean to someone else who made that so i don't get a free pass to be mean just cause it's to me#man my thoughts are bungled. okay sleep time#if my phone made typos you didn't see it
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I don't wanna hear any of the emotional-wreckage psycho-sexual deviance comments that my answer might arouse
Soukoku
Klance
Jegulus
Next question.
Bonus point for stsg which takes charge whenever one of em is resting
#listen i dont Like these ships#i Breathe them#its way deeper than a simple fat infatuation#i have had issues with those#how they make me feel and act#got me acting unwise#i have tied such an important connection to them they are relevant to my being#in order to understand my very own self one has to understand and feel those ships on a cosmic level#transcendence#klance#for EVER dying on that hill#on that mountaintop#soukoku#i have had EPISODES#jegulus#the way they just make me burst into tears#close call with wolfstar i aint gon fucking lie to you#satosugu#stsg#ive been knew they would perfect ever since i saw that halsey color edits way back i knew it in me bones#my lill gay ships#nobody talks of patrochilles#nobody mention the og#shut up#just#shh shh
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today, my coworkers’ refusal to see me as a man put one of our patients in a position where they felt unsafe for the third time. i’ve been at this job for less than two months total. i don’t even care about getting misgendered anymore, i just want the people we’re supposed to be taking care of to feel comfortable around me.
i work at a hospital where we have to supervise our patients in a lot of vulnerable situations. there are safeguarding rules in place for certain things that male employees aren’t allowed to be present for when it comes to female patients. and yet, the people training me and telling me what to do have repeatedly put me in situations where i’ve been forced to do things that the female patients aren’t comfortable with me doing. and because they have repeatedly failed to teach me the rules for doing my job as a man, i have no way of knowing when i’m crossing one of those lines unless one of the patients tells me.
i’ve had to watch a victim of SA stare at me in abject terror as my coworkers asked her to strip naked with me still in the room. it took several minutes for her to even be able to speak enough to ask if i could leave the room. i found out after that she broke down crying the moment i walked out. my biggest regret is that i didn’t realize what was happening fast enough to leave before she ever had to say something, because she shouldn’t have had to say it. i never should’ve been allowed in the room in the first place, because that’s not something male employees are supposed to be present for. but i didn’t know that yet, because i was training and i thought surely, they wouldn’t train me to do something that directly violated their own safeguarding rules. that moment was the first time, and it’s haunted me ever since, but it wasn’t the last time. not only did it happen for the third time today — it almost happened for the fourth, and would have if someone hadn’t spoken up to say they should pick someone else. i care for these people so deeply, it’s why i took this job, and i’m so tired of hearing the fear in their voices when they have to ask me not to do something i never should’ve been told to do.
i’m very used to the personal discomfort of being misgendered. i willingly deal with it a lot at work as well as in other situations, not because i’m in the closet (at this point in my medical transition that would be impossible), but because it’s such a frequent occurrence with my coworkers that we would never get anything done if i took the time to correct them every time. but to see it get to the point of causing such visceral discomfort in other people? people i’m supposed to be taking care of and keeping safe? that’s something else entirely, and i’m fucking exhausted.
and after all of that, some of them still look at me like i have two heads when they tell me what to do and i say “i can’t do that, only female employees can” because i’m learning now. clearly i’m already seen as a man by our patients, but my coworkers would still rather put them in an unsafe situation than just train me as a man.
#to be clear it’s four different things they’ve asked me to do that im not supposed to#as soon as i find out about one rule they ask me to violate a different one that i didn’t know about#i will never ever forget that girl’s face and i’ll never stop being angry for her#for all three of them but especially her#i hate my coworkers for a million different reasons#the patients are the only reason i didn’t quit this job after the first day#i just want to do right by them and sometimes it feels like i’m the only one working there who does#it kills me because the patients who know im trans have been so great about it too#most of them know nothing about trans people but they’re so willing to learn and so respectful and we’ve had such great conversations#they’re getting fucked over by someone else’s transphobia when they themselves don’t have a single transphobic bone in their bodies#i hate this place because i care about the people in it too much to stand by the way it treats them and it’s killing me#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia
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give me tommy 'rom com ass motherfucker' kinard discovering the joys of someone who will absolutely sweep him off his feet with the kind of big romantic gestures but will also set the coffee machine to match his wakeup time when they're on different shifts or pick up the candy he likes best just because they saw it and thought of him. someone who loves him in the big ways, but the little ways too.
give me evan 'love me anyway' buckley settling into the security of a relationship with someone who shows up and shows up and keeps showing up. someone who puts him first without thinking about it. someone who listens to him apologise for being needy and says "you're allowed to need me, evan".
i just want them to be confident in each other, to know the other one will be looking back when they look over, to experience the delight of knowing you've found your person and your life is going to change in all kinds of mundane little ways that you never even knew you wanted
#911 abc#bucktommy#this post brought to you by my wife handing me things all day so i don't have to turn my head bc i fucked up my neck#and me going 🥺 you really love me#because you can know it in your bones and the tiniest gesture can still bring it home to you in a way that makes it feel brand new again
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The ending of Crooked Kingdom may very well have saved the life of Wylan’s unborn sibling by getting them out of Van Eck’s house. Probably Alys’, too.
That’s it that’s all I have to say. I just wanted to say it.
#there’s no fucking wat they would have been safe#we gloss over it too much that wylan was already afraid of his father before he discovered that he couldn’t read#children who feel safe do not spend YEARS memorising stories and learning when to turn the page so that no-one will know they can’t read#‘my father trusts himself first#Alys only so far’#that kid is probably going to end up being spoiled absolutely rotten but at least they’ll be okay#tw abuse implied#six of crows#grishaverse#Jan Van eck#burn in hell Jan Van eck#burn in hell#crooked kingdom#leigh bardugo#wylan van eck#Alys can eck#Alys I wish I knew your maiden name so I could tag that instead#wylan hendriks#marya hendriks#save six of crows#save shadow and bone#save the grishaverse
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the yellowjackets might’ve missed the premiere release of "Air Bud" (1997) but fear not.... because they got rescued just in time for "Air Bud: Golden Reciever" (1998)
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#i fucking LOVE airbud#i know this was the first movie van saw#i can feel it in my bones#can you tell i was researching what the yellowjackets missed?#watch me make 10 million posts about this#yellowjackets#yj#jackie taylor#shauna shipman#natalie scatorccio#misty quigley#lottie matthews#taissa turner#van palmer#yj meme#yj98#⎯🧚fairytwles posts#⎯🐝 yellowjackets#⎯📂fairytwles yj posts#airbud#air bud
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THIS ALONE, YOU'RE IN TIME FOR THE SHOW YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I NEED I'M THE ONE THAT YOU LOATHE
#doctor who#dhawan!master#sacha dhawan#dwgifs#dwedit#timelordgifs#themastergifs#tvedit#tvgifs#tvandfilm#usertennant#winterswake#userveronika#miatendos#useraurore#usergif#cygifs#this is def one of those i worked all day on this but it's gonna get 10 notes kinda things i feel it in my bones lmao#but it's his song and i like the way it came out so fuck it we ball
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